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    Written by: Bevan Lee   Produced by: Posie Jacobs   Directed by: Mark Piper

Craig joins Beryl just outside the kitchen door at the country house and asks where Debbie is. Beryl retorts that she has no idea: she wandered off somewhere; she's worried about the nonsense between him and Andy. Craig mutters, "She shouldn't have just left you to it." Beryl tells him, "I agree. Still, I don't think you're in a position to talk about responsible behaviour. When is this nonsense between you and Andy going to end?" Craig, though, replies, "It's OK - we've sorted things out." He then asks if Debbie said where she was going. Beryl tells him, "She mumbled something about ducks and then eating the biggest banana split in the world and then she was gone." Craig smiles, "She's crazy, eh?!" He then muses, "Ducks... did she say old ducks?" Beryl replies, "She could've." Craig murmurs, "Yeah, I reckon that's it." He walks off.

At the Cherry Wood Retirement Home, there's an elderly man doing some exercises in the back garden. Craig walks over to him and reminds him that he brought the music round the other day. The man smiles, "So you did!" Craig then asks, "Do you remember the girl who came with me?" The man grins, "Do I?! We don't get as many as pretty as that around here!" Craig asks if she's there. The man, though, asks, "Do you think I'd be out here doing this if she was?!" Craig thanks him and goes to walk off. The man, however, calls over to him, "I nearly forgot: we all got round the piano last night for a singalong - you know: a bit of the 'Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay!' Guess what? The ruddy thing's out of tune! Come and see." Craig protests that he doesn't know anything about pianos. The man, however, laughs, "Course you do! You sell music, don't you?!" With that, he heads off towards the building. Craig sighs heavily and follows him.

Debbie is sitting by the side of a lake, feeding some ducks and looking thoughtful. She glances across at a young couple who are walking nearby, their arms round each other. She looks worried.

Bjorn emerges through the back door of the mansion and looks across to where an attractive female tenant is lying on the grass, reading. He murmurs to God, "You have a cruel sense of humour!" Another man walks across to him and comments, "She's a bit of alright, isn't she?" Bjorn smiles, "She is like a feast to a starving man!" The other man walks off and Bjorn heads across to the young woman. He smiles at her and says, "Hi! My name is Bjorn; I'm visiting Fiona." The woman replies, "Hi! My name is Cheryl." Janice suddenly emerges through the back door, carrying a basket of washing. Seeing what's going on, she walks over to Bjorn and Cheryl. Bjorn is just telling Cheryl that he works on a cruise ship. Janice approaches them and, clearing her throat loudly, then says, "I mean to ask, Bjorn: any word from your wife lately? I'm just wondering how the children are going." Cheryl muses, "I think I'm being given a hint..." Janice goes on, "Good family men are such an inspiration; don't you think so, Cheryl?" With that, she walks off.

A few minutes later, Janice walks into Fiona's room and tells Fiona, "Your gigolo friend's tempting the boarders." Fiona muses, "Well... the last time I checked, 'Thou shalt not talk' did not make the top ten!" Janice glares at her and the embroidery she's working on and mutters, "I should have known you wouldn't worry, making things like that." Fiona smiles, "I'm getting into blow-up dolls next!" Janice snaps, "I hung around and made him so uncomfortable he went inside." Fiona comments, "He'll probably thank you: he's trying to be faithful - not that it'll be easy for him." Janice asks in surprise, "You're not pulling my leg?" Fiona insists, "No, no, no, truly. He just told me." Janice smiles, "I'm sure his wife will be pleased." Fiona, though, explains, "Not to his wife; to Alison Carr." Janice glares at her and snaps, "The man's a pervert - and you only encourage him." Fiona sighs heavily, "Bjorn is a sweetie." Janice, though, growls, "He's a risk to the family unit; that's what he is." Fiona suggests, "There's only one thing for it, Janice: you are going to have to save him!" Janice snaps, "Many a true word is spoken in jest, Aunt Fiona. Someone obviously has to and it may as well be me." With that, she heads off outside, leaving Fiona to call after her in exasperation, "Janice!"

Sometime later, Fiona is standing outside with Bjorn as he fiddles with an open window. Fiona smiles, "What's this? The last resort of the board?!" Bjorn explains, "It's a choice between here or the back garden. There lies temptation." Fiona chuckles, "You're beginning to sound like Janice!" Bjorn asks, "Did she tell you about Cheryl?" Fiona nods, "Uh huh. She thinks she ruined it for you." Bjorn replies, "She did. I didn't know whether to thank her or choke her!" Fiona warns him, "She's decided to take you on as her next project. She is out to reform you!" Bjorn laughs, "Me?!" Fiona tells him, "That was my reaction, too, but unless you're prepared for some high-powered salesmanship talk, you'd better make yourself scarce!" Bjorn takes the advice and walks off as Janice emerges through the mansion's front door and asks Fiona, "Did I hear Bjorn out here?" Fiona looks round 'innocently' and replies, "You must be imagining things." Janice asks suspiciously, "You haven't warned him, have you?" Fiona smiles, "Darling, he's a big boy; he can look after himself." Janice persists, "Maybe a talk with Cheryl wouldn't hurt, either - lying around the back garden like that. It's just putting temptation in men's way." Fiona warns her, "Don't you go pestering the tenants - we can't afford to lose any more, the way things are." Janice retorts, "Some of them we could well do without." Fiona asserts, "We need all we've got - plus more." Janice asks, "Why? What's wrong?" Fiona asks, "Will you promise you won't breathe a word of this to May?" Janice nods, "I promise." Fiona explains, "Wayne is threatening to make this whole place upmarket unless it starts showing a profit - and if that be the case, it would be 'goodbye May' - plus quite a few others. The others would manage but May wouldn't; this whole place is her life." Janice gasps, "He actually said he'd throw her out?" Fiona replies, "As good as - May couldn't possibly afford to pay the sort of rents he'd be charging." Janice suggests, "Perhaps if I had a word with him?" Fiona, though, tells her, "You can't. He's gone overseas. The best thing you can do is behave yourself: May first, Cheryl and her eternal salvation second." Janice mutters, "You don't have to make a joke of it." Fiona, though, insists, "Believe me: I am not joking." Janice murmurs, "I'll bite my tongue as much as I can." Fiona tells her, "Go one better: put a gag on it!" Janice, however, retorts, "I'll speak up if I have to; if it gets too bad. I won't compromise my principles - not even for May." With that, she heads back inside, leaving Fiona sighing heavily.

Craig approaches Debbie by the side of the river and comments, "Talk about hard to track down. I've been looking everywhere for you." He sits down next to her, but she mutters, "Go away, Craig." Craig sighs, "Look, I know I've been a jerk, but don't be angry." Debbie, however, snaps, "You had your chance, but you had to do it your way, didn't you? Why didn't you listen to me? I told you you were being stupid. You think I'm dumb, don't you?" Craig insists, "No I don't." Debbie mutters, "You wouldn't have ignored me otherwise." Craig tells her, "It wasn't like that. Some things you've just got to work out by yourself, that's all. I'm sorry. There's not much more I can say, is there?" He stands up, but loses his footing on a slippery rock and goes flying back into the water! Debbie calls, "Serves you right!" Craig asks for a hand, and Debbie stands up and reaches out to him. Craig then tells her, "You know what? You shouldn't have laughed." With that, he pulls her into the water with him! They start splashing around, Debbie laughing, "I'll kill you!" After a few seconds, Craig looks at her seriously and asks, "Forgiven?" She nods at him.

Sometime later, Craig and Debbie arrive back outside the country house and Craig apologises to Beryl for taking so long. Beryl looks at the state of them and asks in surprise, "What happened?" Debbie laughs, "We sort of had an accident!" She then apologises for leaving. Craig adds that they've worked it all out now. They head inside and Beryl tells them, "By the way: Andy packed up and left." Looking surprised, Craig asks what he said. Beryl replies, "Not much. He told me about Doug. Has he really lost everything?" Craig nods, "Yeah, poor bloke." Beryl murmurs, "I hope that doesn't mean David's going to lose the truck..." The 'phone suddenly starts ringing and Craig goes to answer it. While he's talking, Beryl tells Debbie, "I've decided to go home tomorrow." Debbie asks how come. Beryl explains, "Things could get a bit tense if David's going to lose the truck and I think he'd be better off by himself." On the 'phone Craig says, "You're kidding!" He then ends the call by saying, "Thanks a lot, Doug. See you later." Turning to Debbie and Beryl, he says, "Guess what: that was Doug. He suggested me as a trainee manager to the guy who runs the supermarket - because of how I managed to flog all that music off. As soon as a vacancy comes up, they're going to take me on. Great, eh?!" Beryl smiles, "Congratulations!" Craig goes on enthusiastically, "You know, once you get a job like that, you can really do well; work your way up... What do you reckon, Deb?" Debbie, looking less than enthusiastic, smiles, "Yeah, that's really good..." Craig then heads off to have a shower, leaving Beryl to ask Debbie what's wrong. Debbie explains, "I'm just worried that if he gets a job like that he'll start walking over people to do well." Beryl assures her, "I don't think you've got much worries there." Debbie continues, "I'm just happy we're not arguing anymore. I don't want him to start carrying on like he did with Andy." Beryl tells her, "A lot of Craig's problems at the moment are because of his mother. Soon, he'll get to the point where he can talk about her. I'm sure when he does all your worries will be over." Debbie smiles weakly, "Men, hey?!"

It's night time, and Fiona is writing out a cheque for Barry the boiler engineer, who's standing in her room at the mansion. There's suddenly a knock on the door and Cheryl walks in. She says to Fiona, "Hi. Where's that new deli you said had opened, Mrs. Thompson?" Fiona gives her directions as Barry stares at her. She then walks out again, leaving Barry still looking at her admiringly. Fiona eventually smiles, "Nice girl!" Barry comes back to earth and nods, "Yeah, she is!" He adds that he'll pop in tomorrow and check the boiler is still working. Fiona grins, "Cheryl is a nice girl, right?! Pop in tonight; make out like you've got to see me about something and then spend your time talking to her." Barry sighs, "I don't reckon she'd be interested." Fiona just laughs, "Faint hearts never won a fair lady!" Barry stares at her and asks blankly, "What?!" Fiona winks, "Give it a go, matey!" Barry thanks her as Janice appears in the doorway. Fiona assures him, "You won't be sorry - Cheryl is one of my nicest girls." He heads out. Janice immediately demands of Fiona, "What was that about Cheryl?" Fiona, though, retorts, "None of your business. I hope you haven't been pestering her." Janice insists, "I don't pester people. I protect their welfare." Fiona, however, tells her, "You pester them." Out in the corridor, Bjorn comes in through the front door as Janice tells Fiona curtly, "Trying to help people see the error of their ways isn't pestering." Bjorn tries to creep along the corridor silently, but he doesn't get very far before Janice emerges from Fiona's room and snaps at him, "There you are. I've been looking for you all afternoon." Bjorn smiles nervously, "Really, Janice? What for?" Janice tells him, "We need to have a little talk."

The next morning, Beryl is sitting in the kitchen at the country house with the resident from the nursing home that Craig spoke to about the piano. Craig and Debbie suddenly walk in and Craig smiles, "G'day, Mr. Whitelaw. What are you doing here?" Mr. Whitelaw explains, "I just dropped by to say 'thankyou'." Beryl comments to Craig, "You're a dark horse, aren't you?!" Mr. Whitelaw hands him a gift and tells him, "We've bought you a little present." Debbie asks what's going on. Craig, though, shrugs, "It's nothing, honest." Beryl, however, says she thinks it's a lovely gesture. Debbie pleads, "Will someone tell me what he did?!" Mr. Whitelaw explains, "He came round looking for you yesterday and we told him the piano had had a bomb, so guess what: he bought us a new one!" Craig murmurs, "Only a second-hand one." Whitelaw smiles, "It plays like a dream. It was delivered this morning." Looking surprised, Debbie asks Craig how he could afford it. He explains, "It was the money I made from selling the music. Doug didn't want it and it was money I normally wouldn't've had anyway, so... it seemed to make up for being a jerk." Debbie smiles, "That's fantastic!" Mr. Whitelaw tells him to open his present. As Craig unwraps it, Whitelaw adds, "You're a fine young man, son. Your mum would be proud of you." Suddenly looking upset, Craig murmurs, "Um... excuse me." He dashes out. Mr. Whitelaw asks in surprise what he said. Beryl stands up and ask Debbie to explain to him. She heads outside after Craig.

Craig is sitting on a bench outside, and as Beryl sits down next to him, he comments, "Pretty dumb, huh?" Beryl, though, tells him, "You're storing everything up. Whenever anyone talks to you about your mother it's going to feel like a kick in the stomach. If you can't talk about it, it'll only get worse." Craig looks at her and says sadly, "I wanted her to be like you - but she wasn't. She was a... well, she wasn't what I wanted, anyway. I felt... ashamed that Deb saw her. I was ashamed of my own mother. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her. I'm just scared that I'm going to be like her, too. I mean, the way I was with Andy - that's why I bought the piano. I just don't want to be like that." Beryl soothes, "You're nothing like her." Craig, tears beginning to well in his eyes, says weakly, "I was ashamed of her, Mrs. Palmer. I was ashamed of my own mother." Beryl puts her arms round him and soothes, "There's nothing wrong with crying. You'll feel better. Believe me."

Fiona is talking on the 'phone in her room at the mansion, saying, "That's all the cable said?... Oh... Uh huh... Well, thanks very much, Susan... I would've thought she'd have come rushing home." She listens and then repeats, "What sort of a woman is she?" She then answers, "Well, Barbara's a very strong woman - and very proud, although I think it's a bit more than pride that's keeping her away. Anyway, the letter will be here soon. It will explain everything." She adds, "Oh yes, you can count on me: I'll stall Gordon... Yeah, well thanks very much for calling, Susan." With that, she hangs up. There's suddenly a knock on her door and she calls, "Come on in." It's Barry and Fiona smiles at him as she asks, "How did it all go?" He tells her, "Ace!" He hands her a small bunch of flowers and adds, "Thanks. I've got an invitation to a slap-up cooked breakfast; reckon we'll go out tonight, too." Fiona beams, "Good for you! I should start charging commission!"

Sometime later, Gordon is lying in his hospital bed, holding the bunch of flowers and commenting to Fiona, who's sitting down next to him, "So, I get the rewards of your matchmaking, eh?!" Fiona smiles, "You've got a lot more time to appreciate them than I have!" Gordon muses, "In other words, you're too mean to buy any on the way here!" Changing the subject, he then asks, "Any news of Barbara?" Fiona says quickly, "No. Not a word, not a word. She's travelling. You know - your cable's probably following her around everywhere she goes, missing her here, missing her there; you know what it's like. Anyway, I'm sure it'll only take a couple more days." Gordon, looking disappointed, sighs heavily.

In the hallway at the mansion, Bjorn is walking downstairs, carrying his suitcases. Fiona arrives back and asks him in surprise why he has his cases with him. He tells her, "I never thought anyone could drive me out of a place. I hadn't met Janice then. I had a three-hours lecture last night and another at 7:30 this morning. Apart from being rude, there is no way to shut her up." Fiona suggests, "Then be rude!" She invites him in to her room to talk about it and they head in there. Cheryl and Barry come downstairs. Cheryl is wearing a very skimpy top and shorts and Barry is saying to her, "I'll pick you up round about 7pm, then, OK? What do you want to see?" Cheryl replies, "What about I'm Anyone's - it's kind of a romance; you don't mind, do you?" Barry smiles, "Sounds fine." He then goes on, "Talk about a fantastic breakfast - I'm full as a goog!" Cheryl grins, "I'm glad I was able to please you!" Barry assures her, "You sure did that! Best I've ever had!" Cheryl tells him, "Come back tomorrow for another one." Janice appears in the corridor as Barry replies, "You're on! And 7:00 tonight, OK?" Cheryl nods, "Sure." She then asks, "You positive it doesn't worry you?" Barry asks, "What?" Cheryl replies, "I'm Anyone's." A look of horror crosses Janice's face. Barry smiles, "Course not. Fiona told me you were one of her best girls. I reckon you're the best." He then kisses her. Janice turns and walks off, her hand over her mouth in horror.

In Fiona's room, Fiona is telling Bjorn, "You just have to be utterly direct: tell her to keep quiet and go away." Bjorn sighs, "Easier said than done." The door suddenly flies open and Janice bursts in. She glares at Fiona and snaps, "I thought you were a changed woman. I thought you'd at least gained a little decency with age. It's all happening again, isn't it?" Fiona sighs, "I don't know what on earth you're talking about." Indicating Bjorn, Janice retorts, "I thought I was protecting Cheryl from him; more the other way round, from what I've just heard." Fiona yells, "Janice, for goodness' sakes, will you shut up and go away? I'm really not in the mood." Janice, though, yells back, "That's too bad." Bjorn chips in, "Time for me to go. I'll be in touch." He adds curtly, "Goodbye, Janice," and walks out. Fiona glares at Janice and snaps, "Now look what you've done: one tenant down and God knows how many more. If May gets the boot, I hope you feel wonderful." Janice ignores this and just growls, "You're not getting away with it." Fiona asks in exasperation, "With what?" Janice retorts, "I heard Cheryl and Barry. Your 'best girl'. How many more of the girls have you got working for you?" Fiona, shaking her head, sighs, "Oh Janice, really, I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about." Janice, though, snaps, "Don't try bluffing. I know you're trying to turn this place into a bordello. There's no use denying it."


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